Love. Kindness. Sympathy.

It is a timeless form of beauty that illuminates you from within - and radiates that beauty from within.

It is also a kind of beauty that deepens and grows, with each new year of our lives - if we are open to it.

Here are 3 tips for gaining kindness (and beauty) as you age

"What makes a woman truly beautiful?"

As we get older, this question becomes more interesting and complex, doesn't it?

When we are in our teens or early 20s, we might think that the girl "who has it all" is the most beautiful. She's the one with the gorgeous hair, the flawless skin, or the clothes that seem to fit just right.

By the time we get into our 30s, the most beautiful woman could be the amazing mother and/or the career woman who seems to have it all.

In the 40s or 50s, the perception might shift again. Now the woman who loves herself might be perceived as the most beautiful in the room. This self-confidence can be perceived as attractive.

By the time we get to the 60s or 70s, we might come to appreciate beauty in all its forms, however that beauty presents itself.

The beauty of all ages...

But no matter how your perception of beauty may change throughout your life... there is a form of beauty that is recognizable at any age.

It's a kind of beauty that's just as obvious in your teens or 20s as it is in your 80s or 90s.

It is the beauty that comes from within that lights up a woman from within.

It's kindness.

It's love.

It's compassion.

It is the ability to laugh and lift others up by sharing that kindness.

That kind of goodness makes you beautiful. It is a beauty that only deepens with age - if you are open to it.

But how can you be open to it? How can you grow in kindness and beauty in every year of your life? That is what we want to talk about today...

 

1. begin by being kind to yourself in all things.

 

You hear your own voice all day, every day, every single year of your life - even if it's only in your own head.
So why not choose a kinder, gentler voice? Why not start by being kinder to yourself?

An easy way to start is to replace all negative comments with positive ones. The next time you start to dwell on a negative aspect of yourself, remind yourself of something positive that you love about yourself.

For example, you may not love a certain feature of your body, but you may love what your body can do. Or you may love another physical characteristic that you often do not pay attention to.

Maybe you love your kind eyes. Maybe you love that your body is still vital and powerful at this age. Maybe you love that your arms can hold your grandchildren, that your quick mind is the first to solve problems, or that your beautiful face lights up when you are near your loved ones.

Make it a habit to say, "I love ___ about myself" every time you are tempted to criticize yourself. You may find that this positive shift in thinking makes it easier to be kinder and gentler to yourself and to others.

(As a side effect, it's also easier to be happier with yourself in general. Being happy makes all women look even more beautiful).

2. create feedback loops for kindness.

When you are kind to others, that kindness often comes back to you - sometimes in interesting and unexpected ways.

For example, if you go out of your way to welcome a newcomer into your circle of friends, that person is likely to remember you. She may be more willing to welcome a stranger into her group at a later time - or she may even remember you when you are in need.

That in itself is a kindness loop. You can practice creating these loops in your everyday life by simply doing something nice for someone else unexpectedly.

But there's another kind of "kindness feedback loop" that relates to how you feel after doing good deeds. Studies show that simply doing something nice for someone else increases overall happiness - not just in the moment, but in the long run.
If something brings you happiness, you are likely to continue it. This means that kindness brings you happiness, and that happiness in turn inspires you to show more kindness. This is a feedback loop of kindness that you can cultivate every year of your life.

Start doing this right now. Choose one person in your life who could use an encouraging word. Reach out to that person and let them know you care. Ask how you can help, or just listen when they need to be heard.

3. give a personal compliment every day for a month.

From computers to phones, we live in a world surrounded by screens. We are just beginning to see how all this screen time affects our ability to communicate effectively with each other.

It already makes face-to-face interaction (and friendliness) more difficult and perhaps even more valuable than it was ten years ago.
You can help counteract this lack of human interaction by constantly exchanging kind, uplifting words in person.

Try to pick one person each day to compliment. You might start with someone in your family who is close to you, like your spouse or your adult child. Tell that person one thing you love about him or her. Then the next day, choose another person - perhaps a close friend. Compliment that person, or tell him or her why you like him or her. The next day, try complimenting a complete stranger.

Do this every day for a month. See how it makes you feel. You might enjoy spreading this kind of kindness - and make it a long-term habit.

Whatever you decide to do, remember that this kind of kindness goes down well with everyone.

Tell us: Do you find this kind of kindness beautiful? Are you inspired to spread a little more kindness today?